I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
