Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
