I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
