I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
