doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
