there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
its liver damage thursday
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
