Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
