Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
