took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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