I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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