there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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