since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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