alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
