Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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