so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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