just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
this is an emotional support booty call
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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