did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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