Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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