remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
