I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
