did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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