Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
