yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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