im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize