when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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