I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
