bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
