if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just threw up on my dentist
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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