The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
