im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
