She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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