I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
