Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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