you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
