Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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