I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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