Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
