What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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