If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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