these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
