I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
