i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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