IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
