i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
