Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Holy shit dude........stairs
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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