Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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