dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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