You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
