Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
