Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
