he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.