I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
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Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
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My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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