He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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