May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
