The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
