i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
