I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I party with great urgency now.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
