oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
