He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
