all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
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Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
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Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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