If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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