Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
