This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
