he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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