do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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